Parent Resources – Yahrzeit: One Year After October 7

To help Jewish youth process the upcoming one-year anniversary of October 7, Moving Traditions has developed new resources and engaged more than 150 educators with a new curricular session to mark the moment. We are continuing to develop new materials to support our educators as this crisis continues, antisemitism rises, and our teens need our support.

For you and the teens in your life, we offer you an excerpt of that curricular material, Yahrzeit: One Year After October 7. This resource includes an opportunity to learn about some of the individuals who were lost nearly one year ago, to reflect on the ongoing impact, and honor their memory with a ritual. While it can be hard to find the time in your day, we imagine you doing this with your family, perhaps as you sit down for a meal together.


Materials
  • Yahrzeit candles or tea lights (1 per participant) and a way to light them
  • Mourner’s Kaddish (1 per participant), or use your own siddurim/prayerbook
BACKGROUND:

Today marks one year since the horrific and unprecedented Hamas attack against Israel on October 7, 2023, in which terrorists infiltrated Southern Israel from the Gaza Strip, killing about 1,200 Israelis, taking another 250 hostage, and committing sexual violence. In the year since the attack, Jews in the Diaspora have shared in some of Israel’s grief, anxiety, and turmoil, as we have also witnessed a worrisome rise in antisemitism and faced divisions in our own community. As the war has continued and tens of thousands of Palestinians have been killed (with the UN and Israeli government and Hamas differing on how they count militants and civilians) and many hostages still in Gaza, many of us are heartsick.

Part of a yahrzeit or nachala, an anniversary of death, is giving honor and respect to the victims. We can do that by remembering the lives that they led, by allowing ourselves to feel grief for their passing, and by saying the Mourner’s Kaddish in their memory. 

Who Calls to You?

This activity allows for participants to use a device (such as a phone) to choose a victim to learn about. Since teens will be reading on their own, be sensitive to any learning differences participants may have.

SAY:

It is impossible to feel the loss of so many people all at once. It is too much grief for the heart to bear. Instead, each of us will focus on one life. I will share a link and I want you to choose one picture that calls to you for any reason. Click on the photo to learn more about the person. Some details may be tough and may give upsetting information of their deaths. If you encounter something that is too hard to read, you should close the article. As you read, however, try to focus on how they lived and not just how they died. We will reflect together in 5 minutes to share the names aloud of the people that we read about. 

SHARE this URL with your teens (www.timesofisrael.com/those-we-have-lost) and allow 5 minutes of quiet reading. 

Pass out memorial candles and a printout of the Mourner’s Kaddish. When everyone has a candle, continue . . .

SAY:

We will now go around, and each recite the name of the victim that you read about. Please keep in your own mind a detail about how they lived, or a memory of them you want to keep alive. Some names may be repeated, and of course many, many names will be left out. We will hold in our hearts all the lives lost in this tragedy, even as we say aloud just a few. Today we are focusing on the lives lost on the 7th of October, but many of us are also holding the heaviness of so many other deaths since that day. You are invited to hold in your heart the fullness of those lost lives, which include Jews, Palestinians, Bedouins, Thai workers, Druze, and others. As you recite the name, please light your candle. 

After all names have been recited, continue below.

SAY:

Traditionally Jewish headstones are inscribed with the acronym תנצב”ה (tav, nun, tsadee, bet, hey), which stands for “may their soul be bound up in the bundle of life.” We can help the victims be bound up with life by remembering their legacy and saying Kaddish in their memory. Please rise and say or respond to the Mourner’s Kaddish with me by saying the words in bold as we come to them.  If you do not know the words, you can join in for just “Amein,” which our tradition teaches, if said with sincerity after someone else’s prayer, is considered as equal to saying the prayer itself.  

To conclude the ritual, consider leading one of the songs on the back of the Mourner’s Kaddish handout (“Acheinu” is traditionally said for hostages; “Oseh Shalom” or “Od Yavo” for peace; and “HaTikva” is the Israeli national anthem.)