This resource is adapted from Moving Traditions’ Special Edition Curriculum, TDOV: Exploring the Many Genders of Judaism and Around the World. We invite you to use it with your teens in your life, in your family or in your classroom. For the complete curriculum, request access.
Introduction
Today we are going to be honoring Transgender Day of Visibility (TDOV), which is observed around the world on March 31 every year. TDOV was created in 2009 as a way to celebrate the resilience and contributions of transgender and non-binary people while also raising awareness about the discrimination and challenges they continue to face. It’s a day to uplift trans voices, promote understanding, and work toward a more inclusive world. We will mark the day by exploring gender diversity in cultures around the world and in Judaism, and also talking about how to support trans and non-binary teens in our communities.
Exploring a Jewish Challenge
ASK:
- Have you ever been in a situation where you were divided into two gendered groups of boys and girls? What was the situation and how did it feel to divide in that way?
- Was there ever a time that you were divided into a group of boys and girls, but it wasn’t clear why, or it didn’t feel good?
SAY:
Although it’s becoming less common in many communities, there are still a lot of situations in which people are asked to separate themselves into two gendered groups (boys and girls) such as gym classes, sports, sex ed classes, bathrooms, etc. There may be many valid reasons why some people choose these spaces for themselves, and that’s OK! Sometimes people are more comfortable in a group that matches their gender, and some people find they can be more open when talking about their experiences. For nonbinary people (people who do not identify as ‘boy’ or ‘girl’) or intersex people (people who are born with biological characteristics of both male and female anatomy), however, being divided into one of two groups without a choice is often a moment of awkward or painful exclusion.
Option A: Prayer Spaces
SAY:
In many Jewish communities around the world, prayer spaces are divided into a men’s section and a women’s section, and separated by a barrier called a mechitza. We’re going to read a poem by a nonbinary Jewish teen about their experiences going to synagogue on Yom Kippur in a community that has separate seating for men and women.
READ or ask your teen to read the poem, BitterSweet New Year, aloud.
SAY:
This poem takes the reader through several emotions. Some of them are described clearly — “paralyzed with fear”, for example. For some of them, however, you have to read in between the lines or interpret the poem for ourselves. For example, when the writer says, “I got into shul and couldn’t figure out what I had done was wrong,” — we might interpret this as the author feeling confused, judged by others, shamed, or something else. With the person next to you, see if you can do some “reading between the lines yourselves”. Underline a word or phrase and discuss with your partner what emotions you think it reflects, based on your own interpretations.
ASK:
- What’s at stake if we exclude some members of our community because their gender doesn’t “fit” into a two-gender system?
- What did you find? Give the quote and explain your interpretation.
- What experiences or feelings in this poem were relatable to you?
What in this poem feels hard to personally relate to?
Option B: Hebrew
SAY:
Hebrew is a language where generally most things have a grammatical gender. So for example, in English we say “student” no matter how that student identifies, while in Hebrew we would say “talmid” (תלמיד) is for a male student and “talmida” (תלמידה) for a female student. But what about someone who is nonbinary? Hebrew makes it very difficult for them to say anything, because most pronouns, verbs, and nouns have different forms called their grammatical gender.
DISTRIBUTE Gender Neutral Hebrew handout.
READ or ask your teen to READ the excerpts from the article.
ASK:
- What are some of the needs that nonbinary Hebrew could address that are raised in the article? (Possible answers could be inclusion, dignifying the memory of the deceased, visibility of nonbinary people)
- How does the idea of adapting Hebrew to be more inclusive connect to Jewish values? (Possible answers could be values like dignity of all people (kavod habriyot), believing that humans are created in the image of God (b’tzelem Elohim), maintaining peace in one’s community (rodef shalom), etc.)
- Janner-Klausner mentions how speaking Hebrew as a modern language sounded strange and was controversial within the past century. Can you think of other changes in language or tradition that felt strange at first but later became normal?
- Have you read or heard nonbinary Hebrew being used in any prayerbooks before? How do you think being able to use nonbinary language in synagogue or Jewish spaces might change the experience for someone like them?
SAY:
On the back of the handout is the system that Gross and Rivlin developed if you are curious what this would look like in practice. If you are ever unsure how to address someone in English or in Hebrew, you can always politely ask. To ask someone in Hebrew, you would say
מה לשון הפניה?
ma leshon hapniya?
Which is a gender-free way to ask someone how they want to be addressed.
Tip: For more information, see Nonbinary Hebrew Project. You can also have your group practice using a nonbinary Hebrew phrase. Consider what they may already be familiar with in their community or in the liturgy (such as Modeh/Modah Ani, which becomes Modet Ani in nonbinary Hebrew.) You can see more examples of nonbinary Hebrew in use for Jewish rituals here (Applied Uses | Nonbinary Hebrew)
Allyship
SAY:
There are two journal questions on this Jewish Sources on Sex/Gender handout. Take a couple of minutes to reflect on these questions and write a couple of sentences or bullet points. Afterwards, we may choose to share.
As an alternative, consider discussing these questions aloud instead of journaling.
ALLOW time to write quietly, then ask for volunteers to SHARE their experiences. Consider sharing your own as well!
SAY:
Jewish traditional texts are full of characters who have undergone a name change. Abraham, Sarah, Jacob, Joseph, Joshua, and Naomi are just a few of the characters who changed their name at some point. We’re going to read a passage from the Babylonian Talmud that explains a law related to how we refer to Avraham in particular, whose name was originally “Avram” before God told him and his wife to leave their home and travel to Eretz Yisrael.
Ask a volunteer to READ the text out loud.
SAY:
According to this text, calling Avraham by his old name breaks two different mitzvot, or commandments. We are told to call him Avraham, and we are told not to call him Avram!
ASK:
- Why do you think Jewish tradition places a high value on using someone’s correct name?
- Do you think this text can teach us anything about how we should treat people’s names today?
- Have you or someone you know ever changed their name? Without sharing private details, why did they change their name and what was that experience like for you?
SAY:
While there are many reasons to change a name, in Avraham’s case, the name change comes along with a change of identity. Avraham went from being an idol worshipper to being a Jew. Many transgender or nonbinary people change their names as a way of honoring their identity, which might not match what they were born with. Some people use the term “deadname” to refer to their previous name.
As our Jewish values root us in knowing that all people are b’tzelem Elohim, made in the image of the Divine, we want to do our best to treat everyone with dignity and respect. One way to be an ally to nonbinary or transgender people is to use their preferred name in all situations, even if they aren’t in the room, and to avoid using their previous name. This is true for everyone who has changed their name, but because name changes are so common amongst transgender or nonbinary people, it’s worth singling out this scenario. You can also be an upstander by politely correcting someone else if you hear them making a mistake, so that the trans or nonbinary person does not have to do it themselves all the time.
ASK:
- What are some other ways that we can honor the Jewish value of b’tzelem Elohim and be allies to transgender or nonbinary people? With the person next to you, write a few different ways we can support trans or nonbinary community members.
Facilitator’s Tip: If they need help generating a list, help them think about listening actively to their experiences, respecting pronouns and names, refraining from asking personal questions about their bodies, challenging harmful stereotypes or comments, advocating for inclusive policies at school and beyond, etc. Consider leaving their responses up in the room or synagogue space to refer back to or to broadcast the community’s efforts to be inclusive.
SAY:
This conversation reminds us how important it is to honor the dignity of every person. When we stand up for trans and nonbinary people, we’re not just supporting them—we’re helping create a world where everyone is treated with kindness and humanity. That’s work that strengthens our communities and reflects the best of our Jewish values.